Coping with grief is hard enough. Doing it alone at home, far from the support of others, can be even more distressing. You may not be able to engage in the funeral rituals that are so inextricably linked to mourning. How then to commemorate your loved one without the usual gestures that can bring you comfort?
The network of funeral cooperatives in Quebec offers various ways to support you if your family or friends cannot lend a hand at this difficult time.
Tools at your fingertips
Funeral cooperatives form a network with a mandate to accompany you always. We believe in helping each other, which is why we have developed a variety of tools over the years that you can access online or directly from your cooperative.
La Gentiane, mutual aid and information site on bereavement (lagentiane.org) - in French only
Our support site is designed to help you cope with the recent loss of a loved one by allowing you to express your grief, find new strength or just learn more about mourning. Join our Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/511424103039714/
Useful material on mourning
Several articles are posted on your cooperative’s website on everything from identifying the typical stages of mourning to coping with the loss of a child. The site includes a resource centre with all our information leaflets and reading suggestions.
Colouring for kids
Grieving children need to show their emotions as well, and your cooperative offers a series of colouring pages to help them do it. Ask for them anytime!
The death of someone dear to you is among the worst experiences anyone can live. It shakes your existence to its core, while the pain eats away at your strength. With the loss come many changes as you learn day by day to cope with the absence of your loved one.
So, you should get all the help you need. Ask your cooperative or CLSC about available resources.
Rituals you can observe at home
Rituals are beneficial because they provide meaning. Through them, we can bid farewell to our loved one, and honour their memory. They bring families and friends together to share intense emotions but also to find a sense of peace.
Simple gestures shouldn’t be underestimated as they have the power to keep the memory of the deceased alive. They can truly ease the pain of bereavement.
Here are a few simple rituals that you may find useful:
- Sort your photos and choose those that feature the deceased recalling special moments and retelling forgotten stories… and share them.
- Create a small corner dedicated to your loved one with a photo, a few of their belongings, a gift they gave you or a plant they loved.
- Light a candle to remind yourself that their light is always there ... in your heart.
- Listen to the music they loved. Let emotions carry you and express your sorrow.
- Write to the departed. List the qualities or traits that you have inherited from your loved one and tell them how you will miss them. Set up a message box for the deceased.
Aloneness… without isolation
Funeral rites offer a way of showing solidarity in the face of hardship. They allow us to share the pain with our nearest and dearest, and to receive the sympathy of more distant friends. Even if no one is physically present, you can still draw on your community!
- Call your family or friends. Share your memories, express your emotions, tell your story! Evoking your loved one and recognizing the emptiness their death has brought can only be beneficial.
- Stay on your social media. You can share countless anecdotes with your contacts while receiving words of comfort.
- Use online resources and sign up for bereavement forums. They are always available, even at night, when you have insomnia.
- Contact a community helpline, for example, Écoute Entraide. You can reach them at the following number : 1 844 365-4463.